"I gotta say it was a good day." -Ice Cube

Seriously, today was a nice and relaxing day. I am staying in my pj's, on average, 'til about noon. I mainly get dressed for class or a social gatherings. It's this new bed; the bed forces me to stay comfortable all morning long. Then, it invites me to retire early and read the new Harry Potter. (Sorry Mom and Dad, I just couldn't wait.)
Today did yield an interesting development. I officially snort when I laugh. I bought all of "The Family Guy" episodes used, box sets 1-4, at Plan 9 this weekend. This show is hilarious, almost as funny as "Arrested Development." Anyways, this show makes me laugh so hard that I have to snort to catch my breath. Sadly, the snorting has carried over into unrelated funny events. For example, when Jesse called Professor Dumbledore "Dumbledork," I snorted. When we were playing catch with Rajah, and Rajah took a tennis ball to the head like a fridge takes a magnet, I snorted. What happens if I snort in front of the 8th graders? Can I save face, or should I say snout?

Putting the zen in frozen fruit

Nothing soothes this weary soul like a big cup of frozen strawberries and blackberries. I am trying to really cut back on my sugar intake, and this icy snack helps. Although, when I hide spoonfuls of raspberry sorbet underneath the fruit, I fear that I loose some of the nutritional goodness I had gained. This reminds of when I was much younger and would put a few cookies underneath my morning cereal. I used to feel so sneaky, like I was stickin' it to the man. Sadly, it just stuck it to my butt. It interesting how this frozen fruit caper has caused some old feelings of guilt to resurface. But alas, I won't dwell over spilt milk because the sorbet in question is fat free. And honestly, the frozen fruit can really stand on its own.
On a completely different note, my OB-GYN's office called today. All my preliminary blood work and screenings came back, and everything looks great. I've been waiting for this phone call, a bit nervously too. Especially, for the CF screening. It never crossed our minds to see if anyone in our respective families has tested positive for the gene. It scary how we can take so much for granted. With this latest good news report, we are feeling very blessed.

The nose knows!

I have been sleepwalking for the past two days. I feel like I am never fully awake, unless I sniff a bad smell. That's the solution; I need to wear smelling salts around my neck. Seriously, the only time I am completely roused from fatigue is when I am ranting on rank smells. I have even had Jesse double check the smell-quality of some rooms lately. Apparently, my nose read The Doors of Perception, had a sit down with Tim Leary, and is smelling funk from the fifth dimension because these smells do not exist in the natural world. Jesse thinks I am nuts. . . like I am hallucinating halitosis from beyond. Maybe, I am a psychic smeller. But this new gift has come with a heavy tax-- a super sensitive stomach. It's the kind of stomach that cries at every Lifetime television promo. I think I have also encountered ghost smells; these are smells of old smells. They are haunting my nasal passages, lamenting of odor of yore. They want me to pull out the ol' Ouija board and guess what digested food made them. There must be a 1-900 number for phantom fragrances. These ghost smells used to be real. So real in fact, they burn their imprint into my sinus cavity. Am I really making this information public? Please use fruity shampoos for my sake.

Budding Beauty

I highly recommend the book, The Pregnancy Countdown Book, to all expectant families. My mother got us this book, and I can't put it down. It gives a day by day account of all the changes that are going on with me and the new Thomas. According to this book, our baby is 1/4 inch (6mm) long. Dark spots have appeared where the eyes and nostrils will form. The arms and legs are tiny little buds. By the end of the week, the heart will beat with regular rhythm. No wonder I am flat tired. I feel like a deflated bike tire. Our dogs have taken the cue that I am now queen of the naps, and they insist on sleeping with whenever possible. As I am typing this, Rajah is on my feet and Liloo is just off to the side. Both are passed out; they've had a long day of sleeping. I think they know something is changing with me, as if they have become more protective. We think they'll handle the transition well. Both have always been friendly with children, especially Rajah. I think he thinks they taste good; he likes the crumbs on their clothes.

I mentioned in a previous post that my sense of smell is heightened. Turns out my sense of hearing has gone off the charts, too. I need to bust out my old Wonder Woman costume and rescue stranded kittens from trees. Just yesterday, Rajah and I were walking around a lake, and I heard the sound of rushing water. I stopped and checked the area. Turns out there was a nest of ground bees a click (OK, not a click but far off) up the path. I could barely see them, but the sound was overwhelming. It will be interesting to see if any new skills emerge. Maybe I'll be able to add train car numbers as they pass, balance my check book without being forced to, and cook a decent non-toxic meal. Then again, I don't want to push my luck.

She-Devil: 30 New Reasons Why I am Going Bonkers

I've gained 30 new hormones! You should have seen the expression on Jesse's face when I broke him this news. As some of you know, I've always run on the emotional side. Now, my switch is so easy to flip. I feel like Bruce Lee, ready to take on 30 surprise attack ninjas from our enemy camp. Last night I read that my sense of smelling has been elevated to code red. Apparently, I can smell potential danger. While bees and dogs can smell fear, I can smell a tractor trailer that's rapidly loosing break fluid while on a crowed overpass. Furthermore, once I find the reckless trucker, I will inevitably go hormonal on him/ her with a high voltage chew-out session. Hulk angry!
But as quickly as it all started, I will have a wave of calm wash over me. Once the immediate danger has passed, or a certain spouse becomes bored with pushing my buttons, I ease back into chill mode. The nostrils then switch over to chocolate bloodhound phase, and I seek out super old Easter candy that's hiding in the cupboards.
Thanks for all of your e-mails! Your support means the world to us. In fact, all the enthusiasm has been a huge compliment. Needless to say, Jesse and I are a bit nervous. Your faith in us helps me sleep at night.

Pregnancy Perks #1

Last night Jesse and I went to dinner with all of our parents. I was a celebration dinner in honor of our first visit to the OB-GYN. It was such a nice treat to see my parents and Jesse's parents. We really lucked out because our parents get along so well. Well, the six of us met at Schakelford's in Williamsburg. I have a feeling that Tuesday nights there might become a tradition. The first major perk of pregnancy appeared once our meals arrived. Almost everyone at the table offered me their pickle! Let me explain how much I love cookies in an analogy:

cookies: Cookie Monster :: pickles : Anna

or

volleyball : Jesse :: pickles : Anna

or

air : living creatures :: pickles : Anna

or even

gravitational force : successful planetary orbits :: pickles : Anna

I've had this pickle afflict since infancy. I'm sure with little to no coaxing my mother would gladly share the uber embarrassing sure of me exsanguinating (sucking flat) pickles before I could talk. Apparently, I am a natural born pickle vampire. Hey, that's cool.

If any of you are wondering what would make the perfect baby gift, I've gone and registered for this 120 lb pickle at the Kentucky State Fair.

It's Official

It's official. . .I need nap! Oh, Dr. Keller said we should be expecting a brand new Thomas around March 22, 2008. YEAH!

The visit went well. I didn't realize that OB-GYNs double as vampires. I had so much blood drawn that I was expecting a final round with some leeches. Make it medieval. I am sure my dip stick would indicate that I am a few quarts below the norm.

As for the official time clock, I am very early in the pregnancy. According to Dr. Keller's slide rule, I am 5 weeks and 5 days along. Jesse and I are going back in about 2 weeks for our first ultrasound. The fact that I have to hold 32 ounces of fluid for over an hour is humorous. That is impossible. I already have a bladder the size of a flea. For examples, on road trips I spend more time at rest stops than the actual destination. However, I am will to try.

So far, so groovy!

It's hip to be small.

1. Bald is Beautiful- I just need to find this in my dad's size.
2. Bill Murray- Every child should be acquainted with the masters.
3. Hangin' With My Gnomies- Kitch will be he/her middle name.
Seriously, Jefferson Kitch Thomas or Jeffersonia Kitch Thomas, if she's a she. . .I kid!
4. Jon Stewart- A political mind is a terrible thing to waste, and he's a W&M alum.

5. I'm Big in Japan.- I teach English. Therefore, verbal irony is important. This might also qualify for situational irony.

I am offering a cash reward to anyone who finds a infant onsie related to The Big Lebowski. Tomorrow is the first big doctor's visit. I am fitting the urge to be superstitious. Technically speaking, from a "magic thinking" stand point, writing this blog is a big ol' jinx. However, I don't want to spend, or potentially spend, the next 8 month or so hypersensitive. I need this experience to be positive and exciting. When left to my druthers, I can be pretty negative and worrisome. In other words, send some good vibes my way, please! I will post the results from our trip to Dr. Keller's office tomorrow. (I think that's her name. She part of an all-female practice. ) Jesse and I are anxious. It will be nice to get an official word, though AccuSure seems to think I am pretty pregnant.

A Note About the Title

Something in the water. . . I guess this has become a cliche, but I am seriously calling the EPA today. I know so many pregnant women. Furthermore, if you know me, go take a pregnancy test. This might be contagious. For Jesse and me, we were actually trying to conceive. Our plan, which I may market later as the "If It Happens, It Happens" plan.
The picture I posted yesterday is of use many moons (like a year) ago. I will update the posting when I have an authentic baby bump. Thanks goodness I saved all my hippie clothes from college. All those empire and princess waistline outfits will allow me to look like Mama Cass instead of Mother Goose.
My closer-than-a-sister friend, MK, gave me the coolest expectant mother t-shirt I've ever seen. It's the naked mudflap chick, except she's knocked up. I can wait to wear it to the OB-GYN.

Better late than. . .with the emphasis on late

As of last Tuesday, Jesse (my wonderful husband) and I have been given a new prospect in life. . .namely, the addition of a new life! We are going for our first official doctor's visit this week. So now we begin the rapid adjustment of lifestyles. I think caffeine withdrawal is pure torture; I hallucinated snakes crawling on my skin, my dogs speaking French, and my favorite coffee mug shedding tears every time I look at it- gathering cobwebs on my counter. This is an intense experience, like I am dreaming of snorting coffee grounds while listening to "Free Bird" on repeat. However, on the plus side, I can fall asleep before 2am on my own. I just worry what school will be like in the fall, having to face my homeroom class at 7:20 (no exaggeration) without a steaming cup of "wake me up" juice in my hand. I just need to remember to take this one day at a time, one cup of decaf at a time.