Lamaz- Round Two

Okay- The Terrible Thomas Twosome was much better behaved last night; thanks in part to the fear factor of delivery- squatting delivery to be exact! We started the class of giggly as usual. However, our mood took a serious Buddy Holly nosedive when we had to watch a video on the mythic and famous squatting birth technique of Brazil. The film's grainy 1970's footage only added to horror element. Think original _Texas Chainsaw Massacre_ meets _Our Bodies, Ourselves_ for coffee at an empty Dunkin Doughnuts. Furthermore, our teacher kept cracking bad hair jokes about the mothers, and they did have HUGE hair. I felt bad for the mothers. Brazil is pretty humid, and they probably didn't have well-developed anti-Frizz technology available in the Rain Forest back then. But poofy hair aside, the film's director made major overuse of the extreme close-up. There were a couple of scenes where I thought Jesse would pass out. In all honesty, I averted my eyes several times as those Brazilian babies shot out of their mommies at Mach 3. This film reminded me of the gory driver's ed films of yore- you know, Blood on the Highway, Highway Dieway, Teens + Tires = Terror, If She had Only Worn her Seatbeat. . ., Red Alsphalt Extravaganza! As the film ended, I was ready to renew my brith control perscription. This film is what ALL parents should show their frsiky teen daughters. I promise that those girls will opt to wear sweat pants and butts a la Ben & Jerry's on prom night!

I found an on-line review of the film I'd like to share with you. "Birth in the Squatting Position The women are upright and their privacy is so protected that after the birth, they are undisturbed as they gaze at their newborn. The experience is theirs and it is us who are left wondering "How have we strayed so far away from birth as it once was?" The 10 minute film from Brazil is so powerful that the images will be imprinted in your memory forever." (http://www.birthworks.org/cat2.html#video) Yes, the last line is especially true...imprinted in your memory forever and ever and ever and ever!