My Ever Expanding Universe

We have our next appointment in one week. I can't wait to find out how much the new Thomas has grown. What is certain is how much I have grown, and grown out of my pants. I have discovered the physical irony of pregnancy. Though I have given up Diet Coke, Starbucks anything, beer, lite beer, fired foods, junk food, and sweet desserts, my gut has not gotten the notice. There is a veritable fat fete going on! There is a visible baby bulge, like a flesh speed bump on the way toward my navel (if you start from my feet). I have not decreased my workouts; the doctor said that's fine. I just wish this steady diet of prison camp food would help slow my westward expansion. Pretty soon I'll have colonists! Then, I'll have to negotiate the provincial tummy laws and the price of tea that I'm not even drinking. Lord Navel will have to amend all the angered stretch marks. (Sorry for the multiple colony references. I've been in Williamsburg too long.)