TMI at 4 a.m.

I am not the best sleuth on the block, nor have I ever claimed to have any Colombo-like skills. (Note, I wanted to spell that "slooth" on first impulse.) Last night, my clear lack of detecting abilities was clearly illustrated. Let me share my most recent dose of humility with you now...

When I am tired and sleep-deprived, my critical thinking skills are null and void. Typically, the lines between fact and fiction get very blurry at this point. My hyper-powered imagination runs wild when my rational brain isn't on duty.

Case in point, last night the baby monitor in our room was possessed, or so I thought. Seriously.

I heard all sorts of noises that would make any mother freak out: there was adult male coughing, random grunting, heavy objects falling from high locations, and quirky screeching. And these noises popped up, independent from each other, for about a two hour span. With each occurrence, I tip-toed into Miles' room, looking for clues. My next to last conclusion was that Miles was getting sick- with an illness that affected his personality and his airways- that made him whoop like a man and squeak like a dolphin. The conclusion before that was the presence of a sickly burglar in my son's room, and he's having trouble loading the loot into his bag. Wait, that sounds like I was thinking of the Grinch- 'tis the season, I suppose.

Alrighty, a little after 4, my brain switched on, and I had Jesse assist me with an experiment. I snuck back into little man's room, for like the 100th time, and I whispered into the baby monitor. Yet, before conducting this test, I switch the monitor's receiving channel. Changing channels cut out all of the zoo noises (which were coming from next door, yikes!!!), and I was finally able to catch some zzz's. So the question begs, what were my neighbors up to last night??? Clearly, their child was restless, but so was the whole darn house.

We've been meaning to cut the monitors off; here's the perfect opportunity. Tonight, we end our 20 months of broadcasting: good night and have a pleasant, coughing burglar-free tomorrow.