Thursday, May 28, 2009

And you thought I was weird before...

Miles is doing great today.  The incision site is beautiful, though I think it's a bit on the tender side.  He was fussier than usual, and he kept swatting at his bandages.  I told him that those wild arm actions would only make him madder.  But did he listen to me?  Noooooooo...

Now for something completely different- I just spent 15 minutes on Ben & Jerry's website making up new favor suggestions.  I wound up there as a result of a husband and wife "discussion" on whether or not B&J ever made a plum flavored ice cream.  Wife ate crow and continued to research bizarre flavors.  Found out they tried to market a sour cream and onion flavored ice cream with potato chip bits added.  My submitted suggestions were way tamer and (maybe) more appetizing.  Here's just a few of more ideas:

1.  Sunset Smoothie: pineapple, orange, and raspberry sorbet swirl

2. The Baby Boomer: chocolate malt ice cream, peanuts, marshmallow bits, and caramel swirl
-optional formula includes chocolate bits shaped like Neil Armstrong and Jacqueline Susann 

3. The Ten Pin: vanilla ice cream and chocolate balls...like a bowling alley in your mouth (though that sounds a bit gross but it won't smell like cigarette smoke and nachos)

4. The Preggers: (I seriously submitted this, and I would totally try it) peanut butter ice cream with bacon bits/ pickle topping optional (and I included the bit about the pickles)
-I'm fairly certain that my grandmother (50/50 shot you'll guess which one) used to feed me peanut butter and bacon bit sandwiches- and I really dug them if memory serves me correctly. However, this could be a stemming from a sodium-induced hallucination, which would have resulted from eating said sandwiches over a short period of time.  This probably sounds like the grossest combo ever, but I swear to all things salty and artificially colored it tastes great (and it's less filling).  That's unless I've been PB 'n' BB coma for the past 23 years, and I am not actually typing right now.  It's like Descartes meets a Stuckey's truck stop- or Channel designs an orthopedic shoe.  Ignore me, it's the bacon bits talking...  

I am now going to dedicate a minimum of 15% of my waking hours (unless I am not actually awake due to the childhood diet of peanut butter and bacon bits) to craft new and ridiculous Ben & Jerry's flavors.  What this world really needs is a heaping scoopful of Frank Sinatra's Super Scotch Swirl or the CIA (crazins in amaretto ice cream).  Wait, I'm on a roll...
-the chocolate-covered Beatles
-Mama Cass' ham 'n' cheese surprise
-The Apocalypse Now or Laters- a fruity blend of sour and sweet with a side of Martin Sheen
-The NPR/PBS: Nougat, Peanuts, Raisins, Pecans, and Brownie Sundae- sprinkled with hard-earned sweat crystals from the tireless pledge drive volunteers

I really should have gone to bed 47 minutes ago.

2 comments:

Kit said...

Which grandmother?

Peanut butter and bacon bits are a great combination, especially is the only PB in your pantry is smooth. On a dare I once ate a sandwich that included peanut butter, real bacon and thin slices of watermelon. Don't remember whether there was also lettuce and tomato.

Anna said...

The Grapefruit Flinger.