Too much fluid

"Two steps up, one step back. . ."  Miles had another rough night.  His nurse kept trying to feed him, but there was little (other than meds) that would calm his temper.  A chest x-ray this morning discovered an increase in fluid build up.  A team is placing a "pigtail" chest tube in right now- hence my freedom to type earlier than normal.  The whole procedure should take less than an hour.  Once the fluid starts draining, a sample will be tested for possible infection.  His doctors are doubtful that this is the case, since he is not showing other signs- like fever.  Before signing the consent to have the tube inserted, I was able to personally review the x-rays.  The change in fluid levels is clearly evident; there is a new pocket of gunk that wasn't there yesterday.  This hospital has been great at keeping Jesse and me informed, though sometimes I feel like ignorance would be bliss.  I must work on not attaching emotional values to medical news- it is what it is.  Deeming developments as "good" or "bad" will not help me cope- especially if we are to face more "bad" news.  But honestly, I've never been accused of being a stoic.

Miles was given a direct oxygen line last night.  Apparently his levels were low last night, in the mid 80's when they should be at 95 or above.  I am sure his fussiness and continual wiggling of the pulse socks have impacted the readings.  The lung fluid build up has also lowered his oxygen levels.  I have been hypnotized by his monitors- each with an array of colors and beeps.  An array of information is available, and it is all coded into waves and appeasing hues.  I think I zoned out to his main display for over an hour yesterday- watching the yellow respiratory rate lines, the blue oxygen level lines, the red heart rate lines. . .a mini-medical rainbow.   

We had to leave his bedside just a few minutes ago.  They allowed us to stay until he was sedated.  Hopefully, we will be right back in less than an hour.  I can't wait in the lounge, way too loud.  The other family in there is blasting the t.v.  and running around.  I am way too off-center to handle such distractions.  As I type this, I am seated in the adjacent hallway, listening to the elevators whirl by.  Not many people stop on this floor.  As for my current emotional state, I am not quite sure how I am feeling.  Agitated for sure- annoyed by the loud visitors- jealous of their jovial mood- and clearly grumpy from a lack of solid sleep.  I know my nerves have been kicked up a notch with the news of the new lung fluid.  

Ahhh- there they go; the loud family has just boarded the elevator.  I now have to find a way to disconnect that television. . .Hopefully, by the time they return, I will be back with Miles and feeling more patient to handle life's regular ebbs and flows.  Once he is stabilized,  I will sneak out to post an update.