I am ATing. Typically, you'd see HALTing as term- Hungry Angry Lonely Tired. I'm not hungry because I am always eating, nor am I lonely because I have a wicked case of cabin fever right now. Currently, I am just Angry and Tired. To be more exact, I am HFSDUFing- Hormonal, Freaked that in 15 weeks a baby will be here, Stressed about being prepared and my final exam tomorrow, Depressed because my butt is massive, Unfocused- haven't started studying yet- yikes, and Forgetful- wait, what am I ranting about??
This is the dark under belly of pregnancy- the loss of sanity. I wish everything were always sunshine and roses. I wish I could let go and have faith in the process-knowing that in the end all will be taken care of. I am thankful that I can recognize my evil need to control everything, but I am sad that I still initially act on those urges and push away the ones I need the most.
Enter a tiny ray of sunshine- I feel much better committing these nasty feelings to the page- like purging out anxieties. Sorry to share less than pleasant vibes, but better out with shame than in with pain.
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