Just (Couldn't) Do It!

I am not a Nike commercial, so why did I try to run** like I was in one? Hmmm... it was my blasted "metalicious" playlist. Three nights ago, as I was heading out for my nightly shuffle (because what I do doesn't even qualify as jogging) I snagged the iPod- you know, to mix it up a bit. Typically, I shuffle for about thirty minutes, and my route cuts through the heart of Colonial Williamsburg. Lovely run and not too many tourons later in the day because all the local buffets are running early bird specials. But I digress. Anyhoo, I spun the magic iPod wheel to a playlist I entitled "metalicious." First warning flag I missed- shuffling and metal do not jive.

Regardless of that obvious factor, I blew through the first have of my "run" at Mach 5. I think my thighs were shooting sparks, as I air drummed my way down the cobblestone with Metallica and Anthrax. Upon reaching my halfway point, I had a near death experience. Not the best sound track to have a near death experience with- bright lights, swirling air particles, Megadeath spike hammering away at my skull. And then it dawned on me, I tried to run like I was actually a runner, that a Nike film crew was following me because I was laying wake to an impressive soundtrack.

In reality, I was making footage for Advil and ice packs commercials. Have I learned my lesson? You betcha! Last night I trucked along to the smooth stylings of Van Morrison. And the night before I strutted with Steely Dan. Thank the Lord that I have a most eclectic music library; for now I will be hobbling along with Peter Gabriel and not Ozzy. (I'll save Mr. Osbourne for my house cleaning sprees.)

**When you think of me running, think of John Belushi's "Little Chocolate Donuts" ad. Just see what I mean; watch the clip linked to the ad title in blue.