A New Day

Last Wednesday, at Miles' 2 month check up, our pediatrician Dr. G threw Jesse and I the biggest curve ball of our lives. Dr. G said that during her examination of Miles she noticed several areas of concern- areas that indicated a possible sign of Down Syndrome. I cannot tell you how shocked we were to hear this; especially since I am a special education teacher. She commented on his facial structure and several behaviors- specifically his delay in smiling and his continual tongue thrusting. We immediately went to a branch office of the CHKD and had blood work done.

Dr. G said we should know the results of the test, a chromosomal screening, by Friday. Friday came and the lab work was not completed. I went to my OBGYN's office and had all my prenatal records copied. None of my blood work, sonograms, and even consultations with a prenatal specialist indicated any areas of concern. However, my optimism faded when I began to research facial structures of newborns with Down Syndrome. I compared Miles' pictures to those of children with Trisomy 21, aka Down Syndrome. It was at this point I knew our destiny had shifted.

Looking at Miles, I never saw anything less than perfect. I had noticed some developmental delays which I attributed to his low birth weight and early arrival. However, as any parent can attest to, you tend to see what you only want to see. And why should I have seen Down Syndrome- we had made it to the 2 month marker without nary a mention of the disorder.

Well, today is a new day for our family. Jesse and I learned that we are not simply parents of a child. We are now parents of a special needs child. Our beautiful and glorious son Miles was diagnosed with Trisomy 21 this afternoon. I am comfortable writing and sharing this information because I have spent the past 5 days wrestling with the inevitable. Last night, in my continued state of sleeplessness, I knew that Miles' test would return with positive results. I also accepted the fact that Jesse, Miles, and I are simply at the start of a new existence together. I have so many emotions that I will have to deal with- many of which will not be pretty. However, I also promised myself to feel these emotions completely and to take ownership of them. In less than a week, I've gone from dreaming about Montessori and Waldorf schools for Miles to fretting about a future filled with IEP meetings, occupational therapists, and more medical specialists than I can imagine.

My saving grace has been the fact that I was raised in a family that believes things- positive and negative life events- happen for a reason. Now, at this point, we are beginning our search for the reason. Though one question has been ultimately answered- I've often wondered why I became a special needs teacher. I never intended to be a teacher; I never took any education classes during my undergraduate days at W&M. But life set me on a course that has taught me patience and acceptance of those individuals that live and think outside the norm. I never in a billion years would have imagined that my work skills would be required at home.

My plan is to share our life with Miles through this website. I cannot do this alone, nor would I choose to do so. We have spent all day with our parents- simply holding and embracing the child that will show us a new way to love and live. Please include our family in your thoughts and prayers as we embark on this adventure.